rachel leedom

Song Samples & Lyrics

Black Butterflies

written by Rachel Leedom

Wings flutter around me
The light fades away
Until I'm submerged
In the dark

I loved you more 
Than you thought I could
But you didn't know how
To hold a fragile heart

Settle in my fear
As my tears bleed out
Think I'm turned around
So please hear me now

I'm looking for a way out
Out of this room
Out of this sea of fear
I'm drowning in
I can't run any faster
From the monsters in the night
That took flight
The black butterflies
Want to devour me
The black butterflies
Whisper things I can't speak 
I can't run any faster

I crave to build walls
So high you can't reach
To build up a shell
That nothing could breach

The moon rising high
But I can't count sheep
There's too much screaming
Going on inside me

Settle in my fear
As my tears bleed out

Think I'm turned around
So please hear me now

I'm looking for a way out
Out of this room
Out of this sea of fear
I'm drowning in
I can't run any faster
From the monsters in the night
That took flight
The black butterflies
Want to devour me
The black butterflies
Whisper things I can't speak 
I can't run any faster

Hold it in, hold it in
Don’t lose it now
Keep running, keep running
Don’t slow down
Don’t slow down yet

I'm looking for a way out

Out of this room
Out of this sea of fear
I'm drowning in
I can't run any faster
From the monsters in the night
That took flight
The black butterflies
Want to devour me
The black butterflies
Whisper things I can't speak 
I can't run any faster
I can't run any faster

Fractured Reality

written by Rachel Leedom

Shallow breaths, ring
Loud and clear
In this nightmare
I’m frozen here

Wish I could make
It stop, before it grows
Larger than this
Boulder I’m crushed under

Time stops
And just like that
My heartbeat skips
At every crack
This panic
fills up my brain
It’s toxic matter
Eating away
I’m wasted, in this terror
I’m writing, the story myself
And there’s no one to stop it
But me, in my fractured reality

Swollen eyes
Sting deep
And it’s tempting
To run far away

Saviors have scorned
Me so I don’t
Need more mending
From bloody hands like mine

Time stops
And just like that
My heartbeat skips
At every crack
This panic
fills up my brain
It’s toxic matter
Eating away
I’m wasted, in this terror
I’m writing, the story myself
And there’s no one to stop it
But me, in my fractured reality

After You

written by Rachel Leedom

My soul is bruised

Please do not touch

My heart it hurts

Please do not rush

This lingering sadness

I will survive

This loneliness aches

But I’ll be just fine

Spent so long wishing 

This wasn’t real

But slowly I’m learning

How to feel

Took drowning in sorrow

To have faith in tomorrow

At some point I realized

All they said came true

I just wish it hadn’t happened

After you

My minds still cloudy

'Bout all the reasons why

My anger’s still right there

Cuz you gave up the fight

Letting you go

Is harder than I thought

But here’s to hoping

That the rain’s about to stop

Spent so long wishing 

This wasn’t real

But slowly I’m learning

How to feel

Took drowning in sorrow

To have faith in tomorrow

At some point I realized

All they said came true

I just wish it hadn’t happened

After you

Baby you missed all

The good stuff

Baby you missed all

The best parts

Darling you left

Too soon

Life was just better

With you

But if you hadn’t left

I wouldn’t know it’s true

Spent so long wishing

This wasn’t real

But slowly I’m learning

How to heal

Took drowning in sorrow

To have faith in tomorrow

At some point I realized

Other dreams could come true

I guess it had to happen

After you

After you

Ends With You

written by Rachel Leedom

My eyes rove every street
Wondering if we’ll cross paths
And if we do and our eyes meet
Will the moment slip by too fast

My days dragged on in between
The stolen moments I’m gathering
Wishing you were mine for the taking
Shattered hopes at long last rebuilding

And you will find me
Underneath the Aquarian moon
And I will find you
Gliding boldly out of the blue
And you will know me
Even though there’s been years in between
And once we find our way
I’ll fall asleep smiling, because every night
Ends with you

You’re the city shining emerald
At the end of this long winding road
I’ll do my best to avoid the pull
To lie down in poppies, hopelessly dull

You’re the way this should go
If there’s a miracle waiting for me
But I learn my lessons day by day
Forgetting I cannot rush this unfolding

And you will find me

Underneath the Aquarian moon

And I will find you

Gliding boldly out of the blue

And you will know me

Even though there’s been years in between

And once we find our way

I’ll fall asleep smiling, because every night

Ends with you

Could the nightmares end with you
Could the doubtful waiting end with you

Could wistful longing, end melancholy
As all of my fears end with you

And you will find me

Underneath the Aquarian moon
And I will find you
Gliding boldly out of the blue
And you will know me
Even though there’s years in between
And once we find our way
I’ll fall asleep smiling, because every night
Ends with you

Hesitation

written by Rachel Leedom

There’s a life, I see
In my mind’s eye
Slowly stitching
Itself together

There’s a dream, of us
In my heart now
Alive when I sleep
But worse when I’m awake

I want this to happen, so fast
I want this to start, so slow
I don’t know if
I'm ready to let go
But if you can hold on
I promise my hesitation
Won’t last too long
This hesitation
Won’t last too, long

There’s a reason, life
Brought us together
And I should stop guessing
All of the answers

There’s an ease, when
I’m near you
It’s nearly unexplainable
Yet somehow undeniable

I want this to happen, so fast
I want this to start, so slow
I don’t know if
I'm ready to let go
But if you can hold on
I promise my hesitation
Won’t last too long
This hesitation
Won’t last too, long

Please do not worry
If I’m up then I’m down
I need you to trust me
That I won’t run off now
Would it be alright
If I asked the same of you
Could I ask the same of you

I want this to happen, so fast
I need this to start, so slow 
I don’t know if
I'm ready to let go
But if you can hold on
I promise my hesitation
Won’t last too long
This hesitation
Won’t last too, long

Battle

written by Rachel Leedom

War leaves scars

On even bravest of hearts

Rain still falls

Even under cloudless skies

Take my mind

I’ll give you it tonight 

Waste my time

I'll send you my goodbye

You crippled the land with your

All consuming darkness

I'm not thinking straight and

I'm still, sitting counting days

You're standing on the sidelines

Watching me go down

Watching me lose this battle

Watching me lose this battle

You're standing on the sideline

While I lose this battle

While I lose this battle

Face my fears

As I look you in the eye

Hide my tears

You’d laugh at my demise

Breathe in slow

My lungs have disappeared 

One last fight

The end is almost here 

You crippled the land with your 

All consuming darkness

I'm not thinking straight and

I'm still, sitting counting days

You're standing on the sidelines 

Watching me go down

Watching me lose this battle

Watching me lose this battle

You're standing on the sidelines

While I lose this battle

While I lose this battle

Don't stop now

You took it this far

Don't stop now

You took it this far

Don't stop now

Why'd you take it this far

You crippled the land with your

All consuming darkness

I'm not thinking straight and

I'm still, sitting counting days

You're standing on the sidelines

Watching me go down

Watching me lose this battle

Watching me lose this battle

You're standing on the sidelines

But I won't lose this battle

I won't lose this battle 

Ghost

written by Rachel Leedom

Last night you told me
You were near
Even though I can’t
See you here

I’m growing tired
Of holding my breath
Counting the hours
'Till we meet again

Will this waiting end
Cause I feel frozen here
What’s the sense in longing for
Another round, just to drown
If either way you’ll end up
A ghost by my side
I’d rather skip the heartache this time
If either way you’ll end up
Torn from my life
I’d rather you stay a ghost for tonight

Hands intertwined
But I can’t feel your skin
My mind’s playing tricks
On my foolish hopes again

I’ve been here before
Wishing you were real
You’d walk through the door
To remind me how to feel

Will this waiting end
Cause I feel frozen here
What’s the sense in longing for
Another round, just to drown
If either way you’ll end up
A ghost by my side
I’d rather skip the heartache this time
If either way you’ll end up
Torn from my life
I’d rather you stay a ghost for tonight 

Ooh x4

Will this waiting end 
Cause I feel frozen here
What’s the sense in longing for
Another round, just to drown
If either way you’ll end up
A ghost by my side
I’d rather skip the heartache this time
If either way you’ll end up
Torn from my life
I’d rather you stay a ghost for tonight
If either way you’ll end up
A ghost in my life
I’d rather skip the heartache, this time

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Erased

written by Rachel Leedom

It was harder then
But I can see it now
All those forgotten
Dreams I’d buried down

Time wears you thin
When you hold it up
High above the reasons
You always kept on leaving 

Now I’m feelin’ my blood flow
Restarting my heart and
Igniting the beating that 
I hadn’t realized had stopped 
You’ve woven my pieces
Somehow back into place
And this delirious smile
Won’t soon be erased 
So forgive me if I’ve forgotten
What I was trying to say
You have a nasty habit of 
Of erasing all my well worn pain, away

You showed up when
I was saving space 
For a cataclysmic
Moment I’m dying to taste

Mysteries abound the
States you have traveled 
Staring through faces
You knew would grow muddled 

Now I’m feelin’ my blood flow
Restarting my heart and
Igniting the beating that 
I hadn’t realized had stopped 
You’ve woven my pieces
Somehow back into place
And this delirious smile
Won’t soon be erased 
So forgive me if I’ve forgotten
What I was trying to say
You have a nasty habit of 
Of erasing all my well worn pain, away

I’d say this could be
Something worth remembering
But I’ll keep holding my cards close
I’d say how I’m feeling
But I need you to say it first 

Cuz now I’m feelin’ my blood flow
Restarting my heart and
Igniting the beating that 
I hadn’t realized had stopped 
You’ve woven my pieces
Somehow back into place
And this delirious smile
Won’t soon be erased 
So forgive me if I’ve forgotten
What I was trying to say
You have a nasty habit of 
Of erasing all my well worn pain, away
This memory now deeply engraved 
Won’t soon be erased

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Dark Times

written by Rachel Leedom

The sun warms my skin
But does nothing for my heart
The wind lifts the leaves
But won't help me lift my feet

Waves crash and echo loud
But his tears drown them out
The daylight let's me see
But now I'm blinded by the dark

Demons have silenced me
Desperate to make me weak
They pulled me in too deep
Now darkness is all I see

These are dark times we're living in
Dark waters we're trying to swim
There are scars upon the landscape
Of our disappearing love
These are dark days were living in
Dark clouds are closing in
Now there's bruises left
On every flawless memory
Dark times came and tore us apart

That look in his eyes
Should have made me scared
The cracking of his voice
Should have softened mine

His arms hold me close 
But I’ve never felt more alone
Pleas stumbled from his mouth
But fade away in that unholy place

Demons have silenced me 
Desperate to make me weak
They pulled me in too deep
Now darkness is all I see

These are dark times were living in
Dark waters we're trying to swim
There are scars upon the landscape
Of our disappearing love 
These are dark days were living in
Dark clouds are closing in 
Now there's bruises left 
On every flawless memory
Dark times came and tore us apart

I can hear him begging for the sun
Told me it's what he wanted all along
I can hear him begging for the sun
But now that time is dead and gone

These are dark times were living in
Dark waters we're trying to swim
There are scars upon the landscape
Of our disappearing love 
These are dark days were living in
Dark clouds are closing in 
Now there's bruises left 
On every flawless memory
Dark times came and tore us apart

Dark days, they came and I am to blame
For blocking out all your sun
Dark times, they came, now I am to blame
For causing you all this pain 

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Before You Came Around

written by Rachel Leedom and Courtney Larson

Before I fall asleep I wonder if I'll see you again 
Cause this is a nasty habit we have formed
Before I fall asleep I hope you will not

be there with me
Cause I feel you closing in deep in my bones

Long weeks pass without a word
And I'm left, holding the line
Waiting for the tide to turn
While we tell ourselves it's fine

Before you came around
When innocence was gold
Before you came around
Before I cried when I got home
We lost that spark between us
When you left me in the cold
Before you came around
This type of pain I'd never known
Before you came around
Before you came around, woah

Before we meet again I wonder if

you'll look my way
While unsaid words gnaw at my brain
Before we meet again I'll steel my

heart against you
While you do your best to wipe the slate

Long weeks passed without a word
And I'm left, holding the line
Waiting for the tide to turn
While we tell ourselves it's fine

Before you came around
When innocence was gold
Before you came around
Before I cried when I got home
We lost the spark between us
When you left me in the cold
Before you came around
This type of pain I'd never known
Before you came around
Before you came around, woah

I wish I knew what comes after you
I wish I knew what comes after you
I wish oh I wish I knew
I wish oh I wish I knew

Before you came around
When innocence was gold
Before you came around
Before I cried when I got home
We lost the spark between us
When you left me in the cold
Before you came around
This type of pain I'd never known
Before you came around
Before you came around

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On The Run

written by Rachel Leedom

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You can't see how it was
Before it broke
You only see destruction
After the storm

How sad that must be
How bitter that must taste
For you not to see all the wonder
Still in front of your face

But I guess that's it now
I suppose were done
You threw your whole heart out
When you chose to run
So I guess that's it now
Cause you chose to run
How does it feel now
Out on the run
Out on the run

You don’t understand
What it feels like
To cast away your fear
And continue the fight

How terrifying that must be
How angry you do sound
For you to feel you’ve lost all control
Of the dreams you could see

But I guess that's it now
I suppose were done
You threw your whole heart out
When you chose to run
So I guess that's it now
Cause you chose to run
How does it feel now
Out on the run
Out on the run

Flashbacks surround me
And you'll haunt every dream
Your face I can't erase
But finally you're fading far, far away
Far away

So I guess that’s it now
Is our story done
You threw all our hope out
When you chose to run
I guess that's it now
Cause you chose to run
How does it feel now
Out on the run
Out on the run

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Dream

written by Rachel Leedom

I'll meet you where
The clouds touch the trees
In the negative space
That doesn't exist

I'll find you in the stars
Hidden by the sun
Somewhere out beyond
A place we can't be

I know it's dreaming
Even though I'm not asleep
Colors faded at the edge
Of a broken memory
Did this ever happen
Cause lately I can't tell
As I'm tying the ropes 
Between the fragments
Of what I believe
Was more than a dream
Weren't you more than
a dream

I'll meet you by the sea
In the stretch in-between
The land and infinity
Maybe you'll be there

I'll pray each night
For another chance
To find your light
Before I accept defeat

I know it's dreaming
Even though I'm not asleep
Colors faded at the edge
Of a broken memory
Did this ever happen
Cause lately I can't tell
As I'm tying the ropes
Between the fragments
Of what I believe
Was more than a dream
Weren't you more than
a dream 

One last time
Can I see those eyes
That made me feel
Like I'd be alright
Now the image is blurry
Can I have one last time

I know it’s dreaming
Even though I'm not asleep
Colors faded at the edge
Of a broken memory
Did this ever happen
Cause lately I can't tell
As I'm tying the ropes
Between the fragments
Of what I believe
Was more than a dream
Weren't you more than
a dream 

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