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a private space to playfully integrate our

sadomasochistic nature with compassion & curiosity

A masochism integration initiative from a compassionate and encouraging source. Masochism can be a lonely and scary road, one that not many people understand unless they have felt or experience it on some level themselves. If you're struggling with this, you are not alone. Becoming aware of the power these beliefs or tendencies have held over us throughout our lives is not a simple process, but rather a life long journey of developing self-trust, compassion and resiliency.

This is a one on one peer mentoring space to discuss the perspective of conscious masochism. Through this process, we will conceptualize the threads of masochism in our experiences and current self-perceived identity, dissolving aspects that do not feel true for us or serve our health and happiness. These conversations are essentially soul chats with Rachel, gently guided by a structure that prompts inner inquiry to liberate you from self-sabotage and crippled self-worth.
Enroll in the three month process below, or select the single session option.

Welcome inside the dark cave of healing where angels and demons work side by side, two sides of the same coin. Both parts as important and necessary in remembering our wholeness.


Here we welcome our complexity as humans desiring colorful experiences in order to remember the truth of who we are beyond this lifetime. If that pulls at your heartstrings, igniting your curiosity, then you're in the right place.

The experience of this mentoring process encourages your playful self discovery as we plunge into dark waters and rewrite the stories of powerlessness we've accepted up until now.

Together we will craft new ways for you to engage with your masochistic nature in healthy, safe and creative methods. We will paint our hallow spaces inside with glittering shades of pain that serve our growth, catalyzing transformation on the deepest level of our energetic and physical bodies.

We will guide you in learning how not to wallow or drown in darker emotions, whilst embracing them wholeheartedly and channeling them down more productive avenues.

Here, there is no good or bad when it comes to accepting our desires or authentic identity. There is however, a way to master those desires so they no longer recklessly run the show against our will.

If you're looking for external support and encouragement as you learn to self-soothe and validate your own feelings, while exploring unique energetic tools to anchor your healing, this is for you.

Through this journey, we will...


+ focus on emotional, spiritual and physical masochism; whichever facets are relevant for you

+ place context around your experiences with masochism in it's many forms, in your past and present

+ experiment with integrating your sadomasochistic nature mindfully into everyday life

+ learn about the energetic essence of sadomasochism and its cosmic purpose for life on earth

+ look at how astrology, numerology and past lives impact your masochistic nature

+ share experiences that may need reframing through the lens of compassion and self-acceptance

+ gently address the trauma wounds and masochistic injuries you've incurred over the years

+ explore how your relationships are impacted by unaddressed sadomasochistic tendencies & beliefs

+ witness the feelings of neglect and shame your inner sadomasochist feels around it's desires

+ discover and play with personalized, healthy and safe alternative sources for masochistic supply

witness our romanticizing of pain & suffering

untangle from relentless self-sabotage

release our damaging addictions to darkness

nurture self-acceptance, tenderness and firm resiliency


we reclaim our power through redirecting our inner masochist, seeing through to it's truth - merely hungry for approval, challenge, struggle and meaning. 

Conscious Masochism Mentorship Includes...


+ 2 Calls with Rachel per month (6 in total)

+ Check-In emails between calls throughout the month to discuss challenging moments that arise

+ Conscious Masochism eBook (PDF Download, Binder Workbook Edition also available, mailed)

+ Conscious Masochism Safety Checklist and Resources to help you breakdown the beliefs that keep you attached to unsafe desires, how to play with pain safely & how to sit with uncomfortable longing

+ Sample Conscious Masochism Agreement to model your own after 

+ I Am a Conscious Masochist & The Conscious Masochist stickers (mailed to you)

+ I Am a Conscious Masochist & The Conscious Masochist merchandise 20% off store coupon

Humanize your inner masochist, hold her hand, give her your understanding, acceptance and love. Breathe with her. 


She is grieving, terrified that she will starve. Scared her need for masochistic supply will never be filled without costing her safety and happiness. Scared that she truly doesn’t matter, that she isn’t worth it, that she's broken, that she doesn’t even deserve the little bit of pleasure in life that she allows herself, through pain.

How It Works

This mentorship is designed as a three month journey. You can continue beyond the initial three months, if you desire deeper ongoing support. This facilitation of compassionate peer support aims to support you as you strengthen your self-trust and recover from the shame that society has conditioned you to collapse into.

The content is structured to shape and guide our conversations, as we dive deeper within integration and metamorphosis as a sadomasochist, in whatever unique way is right for you. This program is merely a container for self-reflection to encourage self-acceptance and redirect unhealthy sadomasochism with Rachel's support, tools and love along the way.

Single sessions are also available below.

Payment options are available depending on your style of communication preference.

If you want to book a free 10 minute discovery call with Rachel to learn more about mentoring, click below!

Choose Your Delivery

Single Session with Rachel | $60

- Allow an hour for the call with Rachel. Can also be used towards 1 month of mentoring via email only

- Other mentorship items not included (eBook and resource library)

Mentorship via Phone/Zoom | $140 monthly (3 months) or $395 one time

- 2 calls with Rachel per month, via phone or Zoom

- Allow an hour for each call, lengths may vary slightly

- Email correspondence between calls, an average of one check-in email a week

Reviews of the Conscious Masochism eBook

Breanna Meow from WhatTheSlut? (www.whattheslut.com)

Conscious Masochism is an important book for anyone that experiences pain, anger, grief, and sadness. It teaches us that these emotions are a key part to understanding ourselves on a deeper level by surrendering to the process of emotionality rather than attempting to shut it out. Rachel explains that it is through the acceptance of our 'darker sides' that we can come to approach what is often considered negative, in a mindful and loving way. In this, we can then live healthier, more balanced lives. As someone who identifies strongly with both physical and emotional masochism, I have learned that conscious masochism can be used as a tool to feed my fire and creativity, rather than feel defeated or even judged for it."

Obscure Monologues (@obscuremonologues)

“So wow... this is such a unique book with a voice that stands out to me because a lot of my experiences have started to make sense from this perspective. I can definitely relate with what Rachel says and think it's something people would benefit from being open to at least considering, if not accepting. I really loved the Dare pieces that get the reader engaged in the process and thinking about things deeply. For anyone interested in new perspectives on being human, check out Conscious Masochism!"

Michelle C.

“I have read Conscious Masochism twice in fact! I absolutely loved it. Quite a lot of your experiences and thoughts resonated with me in such a big way and for the first time ever, I didn’t feel alone in this after all."

Sarah V.

“After reading Conscious Masochism I have been thinking of pain so differently. Reframing things to ask myself is this a "I consensually asked for this" sort of pain, a "progress is pain", or an "unnecessary" sort of pain. Thinking this way has been super beneficial and empowering. I feel stronger personally."


This is not a cure, treatment, or substitute for counseling or psychiatric help. I want to affirm up front that I'm not a doctor, therapist or psychologist. What I am offering is a safe space to share your experiences, questions or thoughts on masochism, with someone who's been in the trenches and still battles those urges every day. Consider this peer support. That being said, not everyone's ready for that. 

If you have an active addiction, are trapped in an abusive relationship or are battling more significant mental health issues and you have not yet pursued or received deeper help, then this perspective may not be right for you on it's own yet. In addition to guided and supervised treatment of your choosing (whatever is right for you, whether clinical or spiritual), this can serve as a beautiful, soft and accepting space to openly share your ongoing masochistic tendencies or desires that limit or damage your inner connection to self-love, self-worth and belonging, easing you out of judgment, shame or fear.

Your privacy and confidentiality is of the utmost importance. These topics can come shrouded in shame, discomfort or embarrassment, I know from my own experience. Whatever you share will never leave our sessions. As you share what’s present for you, I’ll meet you with loving presence, permission to lean into your own inner wisdom, and offer practices to support with your own mindful integration.